nothing was the same.. okay, that's one of my favorite drake albums but seriously, NOTHING WAS THE SAME after finding out elliott was breech, 5 days before I gave birth to him. but let's rewind to monday 12/14, the day everything changed. I met with an incredible breech birth specialist/ob in beverly hills -  dr. fischbein. I was terrified of going to this appointment since my birth plan was having elliott at the birth center I had been going to since the beginning of my pregnancy. Elliott had flipped on me at 38 weeks so plans had to be changed. it was either meeting with Dr. Fischbein for a possible breech home birth or scheduling a c section. for those of you who don't know, having a natural breech birth at home is extremely uncommon. finding someone who has had tons of experience and is capable of doing it is even more rare. this is where Dr. Fischbein came in.

Elliott was in perfect frank breech position, meaning he was folded in half, so we were perfect candidates.

Wednesday, 12/16 Dr. Fischbein and his team of two amazing midwives, Beth and Blyss, came to our home to check it out and see what we needed to prepare. Dr. F told me he'd see me soon as I had started cramping earlier that morning.

Thursday, 12/17 around 2:00am I lost my mucus plug. little did I know, I was in my early stages of labor. I kept waking up thinking I had peed myself multiple times before I checked to see that it was actually my fluid leaking. i reached out to my doula @rubystocking, who told me I was going to meet Elliott that day or the next. throughout the whole morning/day the contractions were consistent. it just felt like really bad period cramps, nothing I couldn't handle. I was home all day and Aj had gone to run errands knowing we were having the babe soon. he bought me @harmlessharvest coconut water and bone broth because 1. im a freak and 2. I knew I needed to stay hydrated for this. while he was out, I cleaned, bathed in lavender epsom salts to help me relax, ate lots of food, and watched movies waiting for the REAL contractions to kick in.

9pm comes around and DAMN shit got real, real quick. not gonna lie, I was embarrassingly watching KUWTK while eating pineapple to speed things up. my contractions were consistently 4-5 minutes apart and my hypnobabies training went out the window (mind you, the breathing really helped me stay "loose and limber"). I remember laying on the couch and thinking to myself, "breathe jeannette, stay focused. you got this. you gotta maintain your cool so that your body doesn't create stress for Elliott."

Around 10pm, I remember thinking the pain was still bearable but it was getting worse and worse as the contractions continued. I had moved from the couch.. to the bedroom.. to the tub.. back to the bed.. just trying to get comfortable as the pain increased. I had Aj being a BOSS of a husband helping me relax, massaging my back and ankles, telling me to breathe properly and talking to me about how our lives were about to change with this little guy that I was about to birth.

my doula Ruby Stocking got to our home at 11pm. she came in quietly while i was laying down with all the lights turned off. she came to the edge of the bed and asked me how I was feeling with her sweet, calming voice. she lit candles, brought in essential oils and started doing her thing. she massaged my lower back since I was having major back labor and put a small wet towel on my forehead to help me cool down. pain didn't seem to escape me. there came a point around 3:30am when I was shaking involuntary and Aj freaked and asked me if I really wanted to do this. my response was always YES. natural all the way. even though the pain had gotten the best of me, I never.. not once, thought I needed medicine or needed to go to the hospital. my mind was so strong and I thank my workouts and clean eating because I literally couldn't have done it without those two things.

4:00am rolls around and dr. f, beth and blyss show up. he checked to see how I was doing and saw I was 7cm dilated. he was so sweet and gentle and brought such a sense of peace and assurance with him. even though I felt safer knowing that he was in our home, between contractions I would close my eyes and rest but it kept getting worse. At one point I couldn't walk anymore because my back literally felt like it was breaking, so I laid down on the floor and cried. I prayed out loud asking God to keep my mind and body strong for Elliott. I wanted to make sure my babe didn't experience an ounce of stress so I tried to keep it together but these were the moments I just couldn't.

It's 7:30am and the sun is completely out.. which sort of made me feel hopeful, like we were almost there. I was laying on my side in bed when dr. f checked me once again. I was 9 cm dilatedand ready to start pushing. after that, it was all a blur but also slow and vivid at the same time. Aj was to my left, ruby was to my right and dr. f and the midwives were in front of me, guiding me through it all. I put my chin to my chest, closed my mouth and pushed as hard as I could during every contraction. my heart was racing, my mind was focused, I was hot as shit and I felt like my whole bottom was ripping open. little by little the pushing became more intense. Elliott's, his little butt would come out with every push and then slide back in, come out even further with another push then slide back in.. so we kept playing that game with him and it was NOT fun. once I got a few pushes I was able to get his whole butt out. shortly after, his back, legs, arms and last but surely not least.. his head. 

it was 9:20am on a beautifully gloomy, rainy Friday morning when mr. Elliott grey ogden was born. he was quickly put on my chest with all the vernix on his tiny warm body, umbilical cord still attached, making the most precious little noises. he opened his eyes and looked around.. probably to see who the hell had been yelling for the past 2 hours. Aj and I of course were in tears. I mean, this moment was incredible.. and insane.. and NUTS.. but soooooooo amazing. I kept smelling his little head and kissing him, telling him I was his mama and that I've been waiting for this moment to finally meet him. he was perfect. Aj kept telling me how proud he was and how beautiful our boy is. he had the honor of cutting the cord after we got some bonding time in and he loved that.

-Mama @shutthekaleup